We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think your dad took our porno
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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