Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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