super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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