i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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