You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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