Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
