can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize