My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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