Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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