Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
