i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
