When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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