Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
