I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it was like eating out sand paper
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What a dumb baby whore.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
