Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
