bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The adults are the big ones right?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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