Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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