She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
