I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
