Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
