Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
