The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize