Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
