I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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