so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
