ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
