I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
