cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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