Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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