I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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