I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When did angry sex become our thing?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
