Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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