"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your cock deserves a montage
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
