Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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