When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My penis needs a shock collar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
