So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
