i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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