Ambien. No doubt about it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
