I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't turn off my feet"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
