Its about making memories worth repressing
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
