butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
