It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
