So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
