Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
