College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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