I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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