i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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