Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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