so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i now understand why vodka
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
