I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
