it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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