In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
