you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
