he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
