i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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