So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love you. Go after that dick
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