told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this hospital has no fireball
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
