I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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