Whod you bang
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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