the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
