I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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